Khalil straightened himself
and looked about with wonder, as if he had found something beautiful
standing before him in that wretched hut. Rachel and Miriam remained
silent and he proceeded, "God, who took my father and exiled me
as an orphan to the convent, did not want me to spend all my life
walking blindly toward a dangerous jungle; nor did He wish me to be a
miserable slave for the rest of my life. God opened my eyes and ears
and showed me the bright light and made me hear Truth when Truth was
talking."
Rachel thought aloud, "Is there any
light, other than the sun, that shines over all the people? Are human
beings capable of understanding the Truth?" Khalil returned,
"The true light is that which emanates from within man, and
reveals the secrets of the heart to the soul, making it happy and
contented with life. Truth is like the stars; it does not appear
except from behind obscurity of the night. Truth is like all beautiful
things in the world; it does not disclose its desirability except to
those who first feel the influence of falsehood. Truth is a deep
kindness that teaches us to be content in our everyday life and share
with the people the same happiness."
Rachel rejoined, "Many are those who
live according to their goodness, and many are those who believe that
compassion to others is the shadow of the law of God to man; but
still, they do not rejoice in life, for they remain miserable until
death." Khalil replied, "Vain are the beliefs and teachings
that make man miserable, and false is the goodness that leads him into
sorrow and despair, for it is man's purpose to be happy on this earth
and lead the way to felicity and preach its gospel wherever he goes.
He who does not see the kingdom of heaven in this life will never see
it in the coming life. We came not into this life by exile, but we
came as innocent creatures of God, to learn how to worship the holy
and eternal spirit and seek the hidden secrets within ourselves from
the beauty of life. This is the truth which I have learned from the
teachings of the Nazarene. This is the light that came from within me
and showed me the dark corners of the convent that threatened my life.
This is the deep secret which the beautiful valleys and fields
revealed to me when I was hungry, sitting lonely and weeping under the
shadow of the trees.
"This is the religion as the convent should impart it; as God
wished it; as Jesus taught it. One day, as my soul became intoxicated
with the heavenly intoxication of Truth's beauty, I stood bravely
before the monks who were gathering in the garden, and criticized
their wrong deeds saying, 'Why do you spend your days here and enjoy
the bounty of the poor, whose bread you eat was made with the sweat of
their bodies and the tears of their hearts? Why are you living in the
shadow of parasitism, segregating yourselves from the people who are
in need of knowledge? Why are you depriving the country your help?
Jesus has sent you as lambs amongst the wolves; what has made you as
wolves amongst the lambs? Why are you fleeing from mankind and from
God who created you? If you are better than the people who walk in the
procession of life, you should go to them and better their lives; but
if you think they are better than you, you should desire to learn from
them. How do you take an oath and vow to live in poverty, then forget
what you have said and live in luxury? How do you swear an obedience
to God and then revolt against all that religion means? How do you
adopt virtue as your rule when your hearts are full of lusts? You
pretend that you are killing your bodies, but in fact you are killing
your souls. You feign to abhor the earthly things, but your hearts are
swollen with greed. You have the people believe in you as religious
teachers; truly speaking you are like busy cattle who divert
themselves from knowledge by grazing in a green and beautiful pasture.
Let us restore to the needy the vast land of the convent and give back
to them the silver and gold we took from them. Let us disperse from
our aloofness and serve the weak who made us strong, and cleanse the
country in which we live. Let us teach this miserable nation to smile
and rejoice with heaven's bounty and glory of life and freedom.
"The people's tears are more
beautiful and God-joined than the ease and tranquility to which you
have accustomed yourselves in this place. The sympathy that touches
the neighbour's heart is more supreme than the hidden virute in the
unseen corners of the convent. A word of compassion to the weak
criminal or prostitute is nobler than the long prayer which we repeat
emptily evey day in the temple.' "
At this time Khalil took a deep breath.
Then he lifted his eyes toward Rachel and Miriam saying, "I was
saying all of these things to the monks and they were listening with
an air of perplexity, as if they could not believe that a young man
would dare stand before them and utter such bold words. When I
finished, one of the monks approached me and angrily said to me, 'How
dare you talk in such fashion in our presence?' And another one came
laughing and added, 'Did you learn all this from the cows and pigs you
tended in the fields?' And a third one stood up and threatened me
saying, 'You shall be punished, heretic!' Then they dispersed as
though running away from a leper. Some of them complained to the head
priest who summoned me before him at eventide. The monks took delight
in anticipation of my suffering, and there was glee on their faces
when I was ordered to be scourged and put into prison for forty days
and nights. They lad me into the dark cell where I spent the time
lying on that grave without seeing the light. I could not tell the end
of the night from the beginning of the day, and could feel nothing but
crawling insects and the earth under me. I could hear naught save the
tramping of their feet when my morsel of bread and dish of water mixed
with vinegar were brought to me at great intervals.